A friend of mine pronounced at an association meeting today while doing her introduction that "the word for today is flexibility". Later she had the opportunity to explain how a long series of little things had seemingly gone wrong for her today and the solutions she found to bring order to chaos. What I heard in her very amusing story was how she had found opportunities for creativity in each situation.
At this same meeting our speaker's topic was "How to Bounce Back From Adversity"... how apt! She talked about the "four lenses" that people tend to view adversity through: control, impact, breadth and duration. She offered some insight into figuring out what our fallback position is in coping with stressful situations and then offered questions to ask ourselves to facilitate moving to a place of strength instead of victimhood. The objective is to find the way that works best for us to move quickly from analysis of the adversity to a plan of action and/or reaction.
She then shared a story about leaving her office to come speak to us without her cell phone, which had the address, her GPS, and the phone number for the member who booked her to speak. She was able to illustrate her ability to think creatively by asking herself good questions that led her to find us in time to do her presentation!
Lesson learned: we're all faced with adversity of some kind every day. We can look at it as a global, inescapable situation and marinate in it or we can get flexible, ask ourselves some good questions and find a way to be creative in turning adversity to progress.
19 May 2010
13 May 2010
This. Or Something Greater.
Wouldn't it be great to have a crystal ball and be able to discern what lies in our future? Couldn't we better plan and arrange our lives to take full advantage of the available time and resources if we knew what was going to happen? Maybe. I'm of the belief that we really do create our futures through imagining what we want and then taking the steps toward it. Think of the successful people you know who've always had a goal or vision of their future selves doing what they love to do. Knowing what we want and then working towards it is a great thing to do.
But, wait a minute... are you limiting yourself by defining the goal too much? Have you created so many parameters for your goal that you are no longer open for something better to come along? Are you only allowing yourself to look in one direction? Sometimes we get so focused on the one place we think our good should be coming from that we don't even notice that there might be other opportunities and options we can explore.
Next time you fall short of your goal take a minute to relax and allow yourself to be open to excelling in a different space. Maybe one that fits you better. Maybe one that you hadn't noticed because you were too focused on THIS and not open to SOMETHING BETTER!
But, wait a minute... are you limiting yourself by defining the goal too much? Have you created so many parameters for your goal that you are no longer open for something better to come along? Are you only allowing yourself to look in one direction? Sometimes we get so focused on the one place we think our good should be coming from that we don't even notice that there might be other opportunities and options we can explore.
Next time you fall short of your goal take a minute to relax and allow yourself to be open to excelling in a different space. Maybe one that fits you better. Maybe one that you hadn't noticed because you were too focused on THIS and not open to SOMETHING BETTER!
09 May 2010
The Leadership of Motherhood
Happy Mother's Day! Today is the day we've all agreed to honor the women who have somehow participated in our creation (whether by birth or not), our development, and our emergence as adult humans. Motherhood in all its manifestations is at once a natural and biological imperative and also a complete leap into an seemingly unknown and undiscovered existence! Whether your mother was skilled or not, present or not, loving or not, she has had a profound impact on the person you are today. Inside the realm of the loving mother there are examples of true leadership qualities.
Clear expectations, sometimes known as boundaries, are one of the leadership skills a good mother possesses. As we progress from infant to adult our mother has a sense of precisely where to move those boundaries so that we feel protected while continuously growing by learning new skills and trying on new ways of being. This setting of boundaries is not without its fits and starts. I doubt there's a mother alive who would say she did it perfectly, but it truly is an art and a gift to those looking to her leadership.
Authentic praise and recognition is another way a mother employs great leadership. We all want to make our mothers proud, but empty praise for something we know we didn't deserve to be recognized for is usually counterproductive. The mother with great leadership skills knows exactly what we need to be recognized for: trying something difficult for the first time, learning a hard won new skill, excelling in an honorable manner, sharing what is ours without expectation of reward, honoring those around us for what they have to offer.
Those are just two of the leadership skills that a good mother possesses. Sometimes we get this good mothering from people in our lives that are not our mothers. It is good to recognize the mothering that life provides for us and honor it whenever we can. And honor the instinct of motherhood within yourself, whether you are man or woman. We all have the capacity to nurture and bring out the best in those around us... and that is truly a leadership skill.
Clear expectations, sometimes known as boundaries, are one of the leadership skills a good mother possesses. As we progress from infant to adult our mother has a sense of precisely where to move those boundaries so that we feel protected while continuously growing by learning new skills and trying on new ways of being. This setting of boundaries is not without its fits and starts. I doubt there's a mother alive who would say she did it perfectly, but it truly is an art and a gift to those looking to her leadership.
Authentic praise and recognition is another way a mother employs great leadership. We all want to make our mothers proud, but empty praise for something we know we didn't deserve to be recognized for is usually counterproductive. The mother with great leadership skills knows exactly what we need to be recognized for: trying something difficult for the first time, learning a hard won new skill, excelling in an honorable manner, sharing what is ours without expectation of reward, honoring those around us for what they have to offer.
Those are just two of the leadership skills that a good mother possesses. Sometimes we get this good mothering from people in our lives that are not our mothers. It is good to recognize the mothering that life provides for us and honor it whenever we can. And honor the instinct of motherhood within yourself, whether you are man or woman. We all have the capacity to nurture and bring out the best in those around us... and that is truly a leadership skill.
30 April 2010
A Lesson in Steadfast Leadership
Last evening I had the opportunity to attend a "Roast" for a gentle and good man who had been a fellow board member at the Houston Intercontinental Chamber of Commerce. His name is Bill Townsend and I learned a lot of important leadership lessons in Bill's presence.
Bill served as the organization's Treasurer the year I was Chair of the Board. A little more than a year before that we had served on Executive Committee together when a hard decision was made to take the organization in a different direction. We then spent many hours together as part of the search committee for a new president. Not long after we had our new president in place it was discovered that some major financial malfeasance had taken place with the carry over staff. The organization was not in the financial condition that we had been led to believe. A lawsuit was filed on our behalf and the board and new President found ourselves in a very challenging situation.
It was one of the most difficult and demanding situations I have ever been in, let alone as the leader of a volunteer-driven organization. We found ourselves asking some very uncomfortable questions about the future viability of the organization and the effort it would take to turn things around.
Through it all Bill was steadfast and clear about our future. "Failure is not an option" was his mantra and he repeated it often. As our Treasurer I know how much it pained him to present our financial picture to the board each month. He didn't try to hide his angst or make as if it was something other than what it was. I admired his honest and straight forward approach to sharing information. We all felt like we were in it together -- sink or swim.
Bill was also involved in a number of other community organizations and always in a leadership role. He was our Chairman of the Board at the chamber this year and it is sad to see that his career is taking him to other places. Things have turned around there and I'm sorry Bill won't be there to take some credit and enjoy some better times. I know he'll soon be influencing others by his steady leadership, his funny stories (mostly poking fun at himself) and his easy inclusion of all those around him.
Thank you, Bill, for being a rock when the stormy seas were churning. And thank you for adding your name to the list of friends I can call truly steadfast leaders.
Bill served as the organization's Treasurer the year I was Chair of the Board. A little more than a year before that we had served on Executive Committee together when a hard decision was made to take the organization in a different direction. We then spent many hours together as part of the search committee for a new president. Not long after we had our new president in place it was discovered that some major financial malfeasance had taken place with the carry over staff. The organization was not in the financial condition that we had been led to believe. A lawsuit was filed on our behalf and the board and new President found ourselves in a very challenging situation.
It was one of the most difficult and demanding situations I have ever been in, let alone as the leader of a volunteer-driven organization. We found ourselves asking some very uncomfortable questions about the future viability of the organization and the effort it would take to turn things around.
Through it all Bill was steadfast and clear about our future. "Failure is not an option" was his mantra and he repeated it often. As our Treasurer I know how much it pained him to present our financial picture to the board each month. He didn't try to hide his angst or make as if it was something other than what it was. I admired his honest and straight forward approach to sharing information. We all felt like we were in it together -- sink or swim.
Bill was also involved in a number of other community organizations and always in a leadership role. He was our Chairman of the Board at the chamber this year and it is sad to see that his career is taking him to other places. Things have turned around there and I'm sorry Bill won't be there to take some credit and enjoy some better times. I know he'll soon be influencing others by his steady leadership, his funny stories (mostly poking fun at himself) and his easy inclusion of all those around him.
Thank you, Bill, for being a rock when the stormy seas were churning. And thank you for adding your name to the list of friends I can call truly steadfast leaders.
19 April 2010
Ethics: The Ripple Effect
"Ethics is how we behave when we decide we belong together."
-- Brother David Steindl-Rast
I came across this definition of ethics while reading the book "The Trance of Scarcity" by Victoria Castle and it really resonated with me. In fact, I've been looking for a definition of ethics that got to the core issue of why people behave unethically and, in my mind, this is it. People bend the rules, take advantage, move the chips, because they don't realize that we're all connected and what you take that isn't yours does cause a ripple in the web that binds us all together.
Call it the golden rule, or karma, but what if we could see how our actions impact others before we take them? We tend to think if no one is looking or we can't think of anyone we know that it will impact negatively that it's o.k. to cut corners or claim something that isn't ours. It's also easy to do it when we think our actions only impact a business or corporation not remembering that a business is made up of the people that work there and the stockholders that own it. Some people feel more free to take advantage when it doesn't impact their immediate family or friends.
These intentions and actions are coming from the core idea that there isn't enough to go around and that we are all in competition for scare resources. I get awfully tired of thinking that there isn't enough... don't you? After decades of being a small business owner I've had plenty of opportunity to scare myself about the competition down the street, across town and overseas. In fact, I'm exhausted from that idea. I know it causes me to behave in ways that are counter-productive to my highest good and tempts me to cut corners and take advantage in ways that I should not.
Ethical behavior is much easier when I first remember that not only am I connected to everyone else, but that my actions affect us all and that there really is enough to go around.
-- Brother David Steindl-Rast
I came across this definition of ethics while reading the book "The Trance of Scarcity" by Victoria Castle and it really resonated with me. In fact, I've been looking for a definition of ethics that got to the core issue of why people behave unethically and, in my mind, this is it. People bend the rules, take advantage, move the chips, because they don't realize that we're all connected and what you take that isn't yours does cause a ripple in the web that binds us all together.
Call it the golden rule, or karma, but what if we could see how our actions impact others before we take them? We tend to think if no one is looking or we can't think of anyone we know that it will impact negatively that it's o.k. to cut corners or claim something that isn't ours. It's also easy to do it when we think our actions only impact a business or corporation not remembering that a business is made up of the people that work there and the stockholders that own it. Some people feel more free to take advantage when it doesn't impact their immediate family or friends.
These intentions and actions are coming from the core idea that there isn't enough to go around and that we are all in competition for scare resources. I get awfully tired of thinking that there isn't enough... don't you? After decades of being a small business owner I've had plenty of opportunity to scare myself about the competition down the street, across town and overseas. In fact, I'm exhausted from that idea. I know it causes me to behave in ways that are counter-productive to my highest good and tempts me to cut corners and take advantage in ways that I should not.
Ethical behavior is much easier when I first remember that not only am I connected to everyone else, but that my actions affect us all and that there really is enough to go around.
09 April 2010
Passion, Not Position
"Leadership is no longer about your position. It's now more about your passion for excellence and making a difference. You can lead without a title."
--Robin Sharma
I just loved this quote when it landed in my email inbox recently. The last few years I've been keeping a document with quotes that I like. I find that having the right quote is a great speech opener for the rare times I'm at a podium. When I served as a board chair several years ago I always opened up our Executive Committee meetings with a quote that I felt captured the mood of the work before us. The organization was going through some challenging times both financially and regarding personnel issues so it was nice to know as we sat down together that Winston Churchill or Mahatma Ghandi, for example, had words of wisdom apt for our challenges.
I liked this quote because I truly believe you can lead without a title or position. And I don't believe you can be a successful leader, even with a title, if you don't have a passion for excellence and a desire to create meaningful change. I'm learning new leadership skills all the time. Quite often from someone who is not in a traditional leadership role. We all have so much to learn from each other if we'll only be open to those lessons.
This idea of leading without title or position is perfectly exemplified by a woman I am serving with on a YMCA board. She is sixty years old and just received her bachelor's degree. In her younger years she had to care for siblings and couldn't attend college, but she didn't let this fact stop her from having an interesting career. She is an excellent people connector and has mastered the art of speaking diplomatically and still asking for what she wants. People in positions of authority rely on her to open doors and make introductions. She greases a lot of wheels! She is so young and vibrant. In my mind she exemplifies a true community leader.
Passion, not position. That idea has real meaning to me.
--Robin Sharma
I just loved this quote when it landed in my email inbox recently. The last few years I've been keeping a document with quotes that I like. I find that having the right quote is a great speech opener for the rare times I'm at a podium. When I served as a board chair several years ago I always opened up our Executive Committee meetings with a quote that I felt captured the mood of the work before us. The organization was going through some challenging times both financially and regarding personnel issues so it was nice to know as we sat down together that Winston Churchill or Mahatma Ghandi, for example, had words of wisdom apt for our challenges.
I liked this quote because I truly believe you can lead without a title or position. And I don't believe you can be a successful leader, even with a title, if you don't have a passion for excellence and a desire to create meaningful change. I'm learning new leadership skills all the time. Quite often from someone who is not in a traditional leadership role. We all have so much to learn from each other if we'll only be open to those lessons.
This idea of leading without title or position is perfectly exemplified by a woman I am serving with on a YMCA board. She is sixty years old and just received her bachelor's degree. In her younger years she had to care for siblings and couldn't attend college, but she didn't let this fact stop her from having an interesting career. She is an excellent people connector and has mastered the art of speaking diplomatically and still asking for what she wants. People in positions of authority rely on her to open doors and make introductions. She greases a lot of wheels! She is so young and vibrant. In my mind she exemplifies a true community leader.
Passion, not position. That idea has real meaning to me.
05 April 2010
On Accepting Assistance
A health emergency in the immediate family over the Easter holiday weekend has reminded me, once again, that "no man is an island". It was a precarious and scary situation. Her seemingly minor ailment turned deadly in just a matter of days. For the first 72 hours we didn't have any idea what the future might hold. In the past few days I have been awash in offers of food, babysitting, prayers, transportation, anything that might be needed for my stepdaughter who was struck by a virulent staph infection. Now we learn that she is healing faster than any of the doctors told her she would. Far, far from the scenario they painted for her just 24 hours ago.
There is power in asking for help. Even when no apparent help is ever provided. Thoughts and prayers of healing and wholeness can never be scientifically proven to have moved the situation as it happened, but there's no doubt in my mind because I've seen it unfold in such a way too many times to question anymore. I don't know how it works and I figure its none of my business. Nor do I likely have the mental capacity to understand it. All I know is that time after time when confronted with a seemingly insurmountable problem in my life I have asked trusted friends to know what I could not: that everything would be o.k. No matter their religion, or their system of beliefs. It just works. And the greater blessing is knowing that there are people who stand ready to assist in whatever way fits them best.
There is power in asking for help. Even when no apparent help is ever provided. Thoughts and prayers of healing and wholeness can never be scientifically proven to have moved the situation as it happened, but there's no doubt in my mind because I've seen it unfold in such a way too many times to question anymore. I don't know how it works and I figure its none of my business. Nor do I likely have the mental capacity to understand it. All I know is that time after time when confronted with a seemingly insurmountable problem in my life I have asked trusted friends to know what I could not: that everything would be o.k. No matter their religion, or their system of beliefs. It just works. And the greater blessing is knowing that there are people who stand ready to assist in whatever way fits them best.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Jill Boullion
- Houston, TX, United States
- I've led a lot and followed plenty of times, too. All these experiences have given me some interesting perspective into what makes someone a leader worth following. And what constitutes ethical leadership? We usually can smell it when's it not, so let's find the examples in the world of people leading in an ethical and authentic way! My passion is community leadership but I think the lessons of leadership transcend place and specifics. I'd love to hear what you think about leadership!