Leading with an Open Hand

I had the opportunity and experience to organize and deliver a fairly large public event yesterday. I came into the process after this year's committee had already begun planning. It was the 27th year that the event had been held. So there were a lot of people on the committee who had more experience with the event than I did, so much so that many of the activities and tasks associated with the event were assumed and not always discussed. There was so much history surrounding the event that for many weeks it literally seemed like the other committee members were speaking in "code"! My learning curve felt fairly steep.

But as the weeks went by I gradually familiarized myself with the scope and details of the event. I started to organize things in a way that made sense to me and helped me stay productive and focused. I got over any shyness I felt about asking potentially stupid questions. I also got over any hesitation in asking for help, whenever and wherever needed. It felt like I was constantly saying "thank you" and rightly so.

I had a great deal of trepidation about the results of my efforts. It was the kind of event impossible for one person to have complete and absolute control over, but I felt it was my reputation on the line if it didn't measure up. Driving to the venue yesterday morning before sunrise I thought about how I wanted the day to go. What came into my mind was the image of an open hand, palm up, unprotected. I realized that for the day to be a success that I had to let go of any idea of control and be open to what my higher power would offer as the day unfolded. I relaxed and knew I was open to any offers of assistance and support.

It will be a few days, at least, before I know if the event was a financial success. But success should be measured in many more ways and I know from the smiling faces I saw and the good comments I received that the event can already be deemed a success. My grandson attended and seeing the event through his eyes that was worth more than anything else.

So that image of an open hand was a real sign post and a reminder that control is really just an illusion. Focused preparation is key, but so is letting go of expectation of a preconceived result.

Leading from the Center: Yours

A friend of mine gave me this nifty gift last night. It's an "Emotional Scale" and it's a column of words printed next to a picture of a beautiful waterfall and the quote "Everything you want is downstream". The column of words are descriptions of human emotions and are placed in an order we would consider from bad to good. Beginning at the low end of the scale is powerlessness, followed in order by depression, despair, fear, grief, unworthiness, insecurity, guilt and so on. About half way up the scale you hit boredom and then contentment. Ah, now things are looking better! The good half of the scale continues on to hopefulness, optimism, belief, happiness, enthusiasm, eagerness, passion, empowerment, freedom, joy, knowledge, appreciation and (finally) love.

The purpose of the Emotional Scale is to show how, for example, if we're feeling stuck on worry that it  might be a leap to big to move immediately to passion. But, we could probably move up the scale a few notches from worry to impatience and then work on changing that to hopefulness. Anything taken in small steps is workable.

I started thinking of this scale and how it has meaning in the context of leadership. Have you ever tried to be an effective leader while in the midst of feeling overwhelmed, frustrated or irritated? Doesn't work real well, does it? We just can't get the clarity of purpose we need when we're not coming from a place of centered purpose and conscious emotion. For me the tipping point of effective leadership happens between boredom and contentment. But the real engine of powerful leadership doesn't kick in to gear until you can hit at least optimism and belief. Watch out for those leaders who come from a place of passion and empowerment.... they are the ones who accomplish the "impossible". And those who can truly lead from love are those who's stories are passed down through the generations. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln. It's something to aspire to and something to be conscious of: what place are you leading from?

What Color is your Jelly Bean?

I'm just wrapping up one of my best weeks of the year: Texas Community Development Institute. This week-long series of seminars and learning activities is for professionals and volunteers in the field of economic and community development. I signed up for my first year in 2008 at the urging of one of my leadership mentors, Cathy Owen, to see if it might be a good fit for a second career. I loved it so much I just finished the third, and final, year.

Our most talked about speaker this year was Elizabeth Campbell, Partner and Chief Diversity Officer at Andrews & Kurth, LLP.  Her topic was "Conflict Resolution" and her purpose was to teach us how we can take one potential cause of conflict, diversity, and use it for the higher purpose of the group.

Through her great presentation, a fabulous animated movie about a giraffe and an elephant, and a lively discussion we learned how we all try to make the people in our lives fit the situation instead of the other way around. She introduced a great teaching tool to our group: jelly beans! But, these were no ordinary jelly beans. These could have been called "diversity beans" because the color of the bean was not an indication of the flavor. So a black jelly bean (licorice, right?) could be lemon or grape. A yellow jelly bean might be lemon or it might be lime or orange or licorice. It was a weird sensation and created quite a stir in the class.

And it was such a good lesson about not judging another person by what we perceive on the surface. The big things like gender, race, age don't tell us what's really inside and what opinions, habits and skills we'll find. And the little things like (dis)abilities, hair color, language, religion, dress, etc... don't tell us everything there is to know either.

Elizabeth also taught us that it's o.k. that we have preconceived notions, biases and stereotypes. We're only human and that's they way humans operate. We are now more willing than ever to go beyond what we see on the surface and see what flavor the jelly bean really is!