One of my leadership mentors always focused on and spoke about being a "person of value". There was a time when I wasn't really sure what he meant. I decided not to ask him but rather to watch him because I know what someone shows you means much more than what they tell you. And over the years he has demonstrated over and over again what it means to be a person of value and I've taken those lessons to heart and tried to model them in my own life. Here's are a few things I've observed in watching him:
1) A person of value respects diversity: of opinion, background, culture, religious belief. And they learn as much from others who differ from them as much as they teach what they know. And they allow themselves to be comfortable in any arena of great diversity, because they know diversity adds value.
2) A person of value is serious about the commitments they make and don't just "take up space". They find a way to add to every group they belong to whether in a professional, volunteer or family role. They show up. Physically and mentally.
3) A person of value strives to serve a higher purpose and a greater good. With their eyes focused on a bigger picture they are less distracted by the momentary dramas and challenges that come along with any endeavor.
4) A person of value knows that they have something to offer and aren't afraid to bring it forth. They don't worry about getting credit for the value they bring or spend time fretting over any perceived lack of standing or ability. They offer what is theirs to the best of their ability and let that offering move into the situation as it will without pushing it as an agenda.
5) A person of value will give their endeavors their best effort but will be able to walk away, if necessary, with a clear conscience knowing that they did the best they could.
6) A person of value listens. Really listens. Listens without prejudging or deciding ahead of time what they think the outcome should be.
There is a way to add value in every relationship we are in. Starting with the relationship we have with ourselves! I find that the people I know that seem to be natural leaders are those that strive to add value in every situation. Think of those individuals that you know that everyone instinctively likes and trusts. I'll bet they are a provider of value. We have confidence in their ability to lead.
26 May 2010
19 May 2010
The Word for Today is "Flexibility"
A friend of mine pronounced at an association meeting today while doing her introduction that "the word for today is flexibility". Later she had the opportunity to explain how a long series of little things had seemingly gone wrong for her today and the solutions she found to bring order to chaos. What I heard in her very amusing story was how she had found opportunities for creativity in each situation.
At this same meeting our speaker's topic was "How to Bounce Back From Adversity"... how apt! She talked about the "four lenses" that people tend to view adversity through: control, impact, breadth and duration. She offered some insight into figuring out what our fallback position is in coping with stressful situations and then offered questions to ask ourselves to facilitate moving to a place of strength instead of victimhood. The objective is to find the way that works best for us to move quickly from analysis of the adversity to a plan of action and/or reaction.
She then shared a story about leaving her office to come speak to us without her cell phone, which had the address, her GPS, and the phone number for the member who booked her to speak. She was able to illustrate her ability to think creatively by asking herself good questions that led her to find us in time to do her presentation!
Lesson learned: we're all faced with adversity of some kind every day. We can look at it as a global, inescapable situation and marinate in it or we can get flexible, ask ourselves some good questions and find a way to be creative in turning adversity to progress.
At this same meeting our speaker's topic was "How to Bounce Back From Adversity"... how apt! She talked about the "four lenses" that people tend to view adversity through: control, impact, breadth and duration. She offered some insight into figuring out what our fallback position is in coping with stressful situations and then offered questions to ask ourselves to facilitate moving to a place of strength instead of victimhood. The objective is to find the way that works best for us to move quickly from analysis of the adversity to a plan of action and/or reaction.
She then shared a story about leaving her office to come speak to us without her cell phone, which had the address, her GPS, and the phone number for the member who booked her to speak. She was able to illustrate her ability to think creatively by asking herself good questions that led her to find us in time to do her presentation!
Lesson learned: we're all faced with adversity of some kind every day. We can look at it as a global, inescapable situation and marinate in it or we can get flexible, ask ourselves some good questions and find a way to be creative in turning adversity to progress.
13 May 2010
This. Or Something Greater.
Wouldn't it be great to have a crystal ball and be able to discern what lies in our future? Couldn't we better plan and arrange our lives to take full advantage of the available time and resources if we knew what was going to happen? Maybe. I'm of the belief that we really do create our futures through imagining what we want and then taking the steps toward it. Think of the successful people you know who've always had a goal or vision of their future selves doing what they love to do. Knowing what we want and then working towards it is a great thing to do.
But, wait a minute... are you limiting yourself by defining the goal too much? Have you created so many parameters for your goal that you are no longer open for something better to come along? Are you only allowing yourself to look in one direction? Sometimes we get so focused on the one place we think our good should be coming from that we don't even notice that there might be other opportunities and options we can explore.
Next time you fall short of your goal take a minute to relax and allow yourself to be open to excelling in a different space. Maybe one that fits you better. Maybe one that you hadn't noticed because you were too focused on THIS and not open to SOMETHING BETTER!
But, wait a minute... are you limiting yourself by defining the goal too much? Have you created so many parameters for your goal that you are no longer open for something better to come along? Are you only allowing yourself to look in one direction? Sometimes we get so focused on the one place we think our good should be coming from that we don't even notice that there might be other opportunities and options we can explore.
Next time you fall short of your goal take a minute to relax and allow yourself to be open to excelling in a different space. Maybe one that fits you better. Maybe one that you hadn't noticed because you were too focused on THIS and not open to SOMETHING BETTER!
09 May 2010
The Leadership of Motherhood
Happy Mother's Day! Today is the day we've all agreed to honor the women who have somehow participated in our creation (whether by birth or not), our development, and our emergence as adult humans. Motherhood in all its manifestations is at once a natural and biological imperative and also a complete leap into an seemingly unknown and undiscovered existence! Whether your mother was skilled or not, present or not, loving or not, she has had a profound impact on the person you are today. Inside the realm of the loving mother there are examples of true leadership qualities.
Clear expectations, sometimes known as boundaries, are one of the leadership skills a good mother possesses. As we progress from infant to adult our mother has a sense of precisely where to move those boundaries so that we feel protected while continuously growing by learning new skills and trying on new ways of being. This setting of boundaries is not without its fits and starts. I doubt there's a mother alive who would say she did it perfectly, but it truly is an art and a gift to those looking to her leadership.
Authentic praise and recognition is another way a mother employs great leadership. We all want to make our mothers proud, but empty praise for something we know we didn't deserve to be recognized for is usually counterproductive. The mother with great leadership skills knows exactly what we need to be recognized for: trying something difficult for the first time, learning a hard won new skill, excelling in an honorable manner, sharing what is ours without expectation of reward, honoring those around us for what they have to offer.
Those are just two of the leadership skills that a good mother possesses. Sometimes we get this good mothering from people in our lives that are not our mothers. It is good to recognize the mothering that life provides for us and honor it whenever we can. And honor the instinct of motherhood within yourself, whether you are man or woman. We all have the capacity to nurture and bring out the best in those around us... and that is truly a leadership skill.
Clear expectations, sometimes known as boundaries, are one of the leadership skills a good mother possesses. As we progress from infant to adult our mother has a sense of precisely where to move those boundaries so that we feel protected while continuously growing by learning new skills and trying on new ways of being. This setting of boundaries is not without its fits and starts. I doubt there's a mother alive who would say she did it perfectly, but it truly is an art and a gift to those looking to her leadership.
Authentic praise and recognition is another way a mother employs great leadership. We all want to make our mothers proud, but empty praise for something we know we didn't deserve to be recognized for is usually counterproductive. The mother with great leadership skills knows exactly what we need to be recognized for: trying something difficult for the first time, learning a hard won new skill, excelling in an honorable manner, sharing what is ours without expectation of reward, honoring those around us for what they have to offer.
Those are just two of the leadership skills that a good mother possesses. Sometimes we get this good mothering from people in our lives that are not our mothers. It is good to recognize the mothering that life provides for us and honor it whenever we can. And honor the instinct of motherhood within yourself, whether you are man or woman. We all have the capacity to nurture and bring out the best in those around us... and that is truly a leadership skill.
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About Me
- Jill Boullion
- Houston, TX, United States
- I've led a lot and followed plenty of times, too. All these experiences have given me some interesting perspective into what makes someone a leader worth following. And what constitutes ethical leadership? We usually can smell it when's it not, so let's find the examples in the world of people leading in an ethical and authentic way! My passion is community leadership but I think the lessons of leadership transcend place and specifics. I'd love to hear what you think about leadership!