A Lesson in Steadfast Leadership

Last evening I had the opportunity to attend a "Roast" for a gentle and good man who had been a fellow board member at the Houston Intercontinental Chamber of Commerce. His name is Bill Townsend and I learned a lot of important leadership lessons in Bill's presence.

Bill served as the organization's Treasurer the year I was Chair of the Board. A little more than a year before that we had served on Executive Committee together when a hard decision was made to take the organization in a different direction. We then spent many hours together as part of the search committee for a new president. Not long after we had our new president in place it was discovered that some major financial malfeasance had taken place with the carry over staff. The organization was not in the financial condition that we had been led to believe. A lawsuit was filed on our behalf and the board and new President found ourselves in a very challenging situation.

It was one of the most difficult and demanding situations I have ever been in, let alone as the leader of a volunteer-driven organization. We found ourselves asking some very uncomfortable questions about the future viability of the organization and the effort it would take to turn things around.

Through it all Bill was steadfast and clear about our future. "Failure is not an option" was his mantra and he repeated it often. As our Treasurer I know how much it pained him to present our financial picture to the board each month. He didn't try to hide his angst or make as if it was something other than what it was. I admired his honest and straight forward approach to sharing information. We all felt like we were in it together -- sink or swim.

Bill was also involved in a number of other community organizations and always in a leadership role. He was our Chairman of the Board at the chamber this year and it is sad to see that his career is taking him to other places. Things have turned around there and I'm sorry Bill won't be there to take some credit and enjoy some better times. I know he'll soon be influencing others by his steady leadership, his funny stories (mostly poking fun at himself) and his easy inclusion of all those around him.

Thank you, Bill, for being a rock when the stormy seas were churning. And thank you for adding your name to the list of friends I can call truly steadfast leaders.

Ethics: The Ripple Effect

"Ethics is how we behave when we decide we belong together."
-- Brother David Steindl-Rast

I came across this definition of ethics while reading the book "The Trance of Scarcity" by Victoria Castle and it really resonated with me. In fact, I've been looking for a definition of ethics that got to the core issue of why people behave unethically and, in my mind, this is it. People bend the rules, take advantage, move the chips, because they don't realize that we're all connected and what you take that isn't yours does cause a ripple in the web that binds us all together.

Call it the golden rule, or karma, but what if we could see how our actions impact others before we take them? We tend to think if no one is looking or we can't think of anyone we know that it will impact negatively that it's o.k. to cut corners or claim something that isn't ours. It's also easy to do it when we think our actions only impact a business or corporation not remembering that a business is made up of the people that work there and the stockholders that own it. Some people feel more free to take advantage when it doesn't impact their immediate family or friends.

These intentions and actions are coming from the core idea that there isn't enough to go around and that we are all in competition for scare resources. I get awfully tired of thinking that there isn't enough... don't you? After decades of being a small business owner I've had plenty of opportunity to scare myself about the competition down the street, across town and overseas. In fact, I'm exhausted from that idea. I know it causes me to behave in ways that are counter-productive to my highest good and tempts me to cut corners and take advantage in ways that I should not.

Ethical behavior is much easier when I first remember that not only am I connected to everyone else, but that my actions affect us all and that there really is enough to go around.

Passion, Not Position

"Leadership is no longer about your position. It's now more about your passion for excellence and making a difference. You can lead without a title."

--Robin Sharma

I just loved this quote when it landed in my email inbox recently. The last few years I've been keeping a document with quotes that I like. I find that having the right quote is a great speech opener for the rare times I'm at a podium. When I served as a board chair several years ago I always opened up our Executive Committee meetings with a quote that I felt captured the mood of the work before us. The organization was going through some challenging times both financially and regarding personnel issues so it was nice to know as we sat down together that Winston Churchill or Mahatma Ghandi, for example, had words of wisdom apt for our challenges.

I liked this quote because I truly believe you can lead without a title or position. And I don't believe you can be a successful leader, even with a title, if you don't have a passion for excellence and a desire to create meaningful change. I'm learning new leadership skills all the time. Quite often from someone who is not in a traditional leadership role. We all have so much to learn from each other if we'll only be open to those lessons.

This idea of leading without title or position is perfectly exemplified by a woman I am serving with on a YMCA board. She is sixty years old and just received her bachelor's degree. In her younger years she had to care for siblings and couldn't attend college, but she didn't let this fact stop her from having an interesting career. She is an excellent people connector and has mastered the art of speaking diplomatically and still asking for what she wants. People in positions of authority rely on her to open doors and make introductions. She greases a lot of wheels! She is so young and vibrant. In my mind she exemplifies a true community leader.

Passion, not position. That idea has real meaning to me.

On Accepting Assistance

A health emergency in the immediate family over the Easter holiday weekend has reminded me, once again, that "no man is an island". It was a precarious and scary situation. Her seemingly minor ailment turned deadly in just a matter of days. For the first 72 hours we didn't have any idea what the future might hold. In the past few days I have been awash in offers of food, babysitting, prayers, transportation, anything that might be needed for my stepdaughter who was struck by a virulent staph infection. Now we learn that she is healing faster than any of the doctors told her she would. Far, far from the scenario they painted for her just 24 hours ago.

There is power in asking for help. Even when no apparent help is ever provided. Thoughts and prayers of healing and wholeness can never be scientifically proven to have moved the situation as it happened, but there's no doubt in my mind because I've seen it unfold in such a way too many times to question anymore. I don't know how it works and I figure its none of my business. Nor do I likely have the mental capacity to understand it. All I know is that time after time when confronted with a seemingly insurmountable problem in my life I have asked trusted friends to know what I could not: that everything would be o.k. No matter their religion, or their system of beliefs. It just works. And the greater blessing is knowing that there are people who stand ready to assist in whatever way fits them best.

Leading with an Open Hand

I had the opportunity and experience to organize and deliver a fairly large public event yesterday. I came into the process after this year's committee had already begun planning. It was the 27th year that the event had been held. So there were a lot of people on the committee who had more experience with the event than I did, so much so that many of the activities and tasks associated with the event were assumed and not always discussed. There was so much history surrounding the event that for many weeks it literally seemed like the other committee members were speaking in "code"! My learning curve felt fairly steep.

But as the weeks went by I gradually familiarized myself with the scope and details of the event. I started to organize things in a way that made sense to me and helped me stay productive and focused. I got over any shyness I felt about asking potentially stupid questions. I also got over any hesitation in asking for help, whenever and wherever needed. It felt like I was constantly saying "thank you" and rightly so.

I had a great deal of trepidation about the results of my efforts. It was the kind of event impossible for one person to have complete and absolute control over, but I felt it was my reputation on the line if it didn't measure up. Driving to the venue yesterday morning before sunrise I thought about how I wanted the day to go. What came into my mind was the image of an open hand, palm up, unprotected. I realized that for the day to be a success that I had to let go of any idea of control and be open to what my higher power would offer as the day unfolded. I relaxed and knew I was open to any offers of assistance and support.

It will be a few days, at least, before I know if the event was a financial success. But success should be measured in many more ways and I know from the smiling faces I saw and the good comments I received that the event can already be deemed a success. My grandson attended and seeing the event through his eyes that was worth more than anything else.

So that image of an open hand was a real sign post and a reminder that control is really just an illusion. Focused preparation is key, but so is letting go of expectation of a preconceived result.

Leading from the Center: Yours

A friend of mine gave me this nifty gift last night. It's an "Emotional Scale" and it's a column of words printed next to a picture of a beautiful waterfall and the quote "Everything you want is downstream". The column of words are descriptions of human emotions and are placed in an order we would consider from bad to good. Beginning at the low end of the scale is powerlessness, followed in order by depression, despair, fear, grief, unworthiness, insecurity, guilt and so on. About half way up the scale you hit boredom and then contentment. Ah, now things are looking better! The good half of the scale continues on to hopefulness, optimism, belief, happiness, enthusiasm, eagerness, passion, empowerment, freedom, joy, knowledge, appreciation and (finally) love.

The purpose of the Emotional Scale is to show how, for example, if we're feeling stuck on worry that it  might be a leap to big to move immediately to passion. But, we could probably move up the scale a few notches from worry to impatience and then work on changing that to hopefulness. Anything taken in small steps is workable.

I started thinking of this scale and how it has meaning in the context of leadership. Have you ever tried to be an effective leader while in the midst of feeling overwhelmed, frustrated or irritated? Doesn't work real well, does it? We just can't get the clarity of purpose we need when we're not coming from a place of centered purpose and conscious emotion. For me the tipping point of effective leadership happens between boredom and contentment. But the real engine of powerful leadership doesn't kick in to gear until you can hit at least optimism and belief. Watch out for those leaders who come from a place of passion and empowerment.... they are the ones who accomplish the "impossible". And those who can truly lead from love are those who's stories are passed down through the generations. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln. It's something to aspire to and something to be conscious of: what place are you leading from?

What Color is your Jelly Bean?

I'm just wrapping up one of my best weeks of the year: Texas Community Development Institute. This week-long series of seminars and learning activities is for professionals and volunteers in the field of economic and community development. I signed up for my first year in 2008 at the urging of one of my leadership mentors, Cathy Owen, to see if it might be a good fit for a second career. I loved it so much I just finished the third, and final, year.

Our most talked about speaker this year was Elizabeth Campbell, Partner and Chief Diversity Officer at Andrews & Kurth, LLP.  Her topic was "Conflict Resolution" and her purpose was to teach us how we can take one potential cause of conflict, diversity, and use it for the higher purpose of the group.

Through her great presentation, a fabulous animated movie about a giraffe and an elephant, and a lively discussion we learned how we all try to make the people in our lives fit the situation instead of the other way around. She introduced a great teaching tool to our group: jelly beans! But, these were no ordinary jelly beans. These could have been called "diversity beans" because the color of the bean was not an indication of the flavor. So a black jelly bean (licorice, right?) could be lemon or grape. A yellow jelly bean might be lemon or it might be lime or orange or licorice. It was a weird sensation and created quite a stir in the class.

And it was such a good lesson about not judging another person by what we perceive on the surface. The big things like gender, race, age don't tell us what's really inside and what opinions, habits and skills we'll find. And the little things like (dis)abilities, hair color, language, religion, dress, etc... don't tell us everything there is to know either.

Elizabeth also taught us that it's o.k. that we have preconceived notions, biases and stereotypes. We're only human and that's they way humans operate. We are now more willing than ever to go beyond what we see on the surface and see what flavor the jelly bean really is!