The Greatest Gift of All?

"I'm O.K., You're O.K." This phrase is embedded in our cultural vernacular and I seemed to remember it was the title of a book so I checked Wikipedia to confirm that. It was released in 1969 by psychiatrist Thomas Harris, made it on to the best seller list in 1972 and stayed there for two years. I wasn't into self-help books in grade school, so I never read it! But the phrase came right to mind as I was thinking about my subject for today's blog post: acceptance.

How often do we give ourselves and those around us the gift of acceptance? We learn early on in life that there's a never ending list of things we need to change about ourselves. Parents do it both consciously and unconsciously when they see us behaving in ways that make them uncomfortable. We hear "big girls don't cry" or "we don't do xx out in public" or "calm down". Teachers and schools push us into conformity and even the most obedient of children either don't quite fit the mold or long to push the envelope of proper behavior. Media, movies, magazines and books show us how to act and look to fit in, be popular, make money, find love, be happy.

What happens when we decide to accept ourselves the way we are and, in turn, accept those around us as they are? I'm not confusing acceptance of self with resignation from or refusal to improve or grow. What I mean is acceptance of where I am. Right now. Where you are. Right now.

Try it on. It's very freeing. It feels good to drop the mask and the labels, at least part of the time and just BE. And what a gift it is to give someone acceptance. It's really a lot of hard work for me to constantly wish you were something other than what you are. And maybe, just maybe, some of this behavior that I don't like comes from your struggle against my notions of who and what you should be.

So, let's just relax a bit in 2010 and try to accept one another. We might be surprised how much we like living that way.