Honor Your Father

Our cultural perceptions and expectations of fatherhood have changed a great deal from my childhood. Fathers used to be expected to support the family financially while only taking on a peripheral role in the emotional life of their wife and children. I'm very grateful for the evolution in fatherhood I've seen in my own family and in our society. An open, loving and emotionally available dad is now accepted as the ideal by many and dads get to share a lot more with their children.

As we approach Father's Day I've been thinking of the lessons that my father has taught me about living my life fully and joyfully. Many studies point to a direct relationship between a present, loving father and a woman who is successful as an adult. I am grateful and fortunate to be in that category.

So, what are some of the life and leadership lessons I learned from my dad? One thing I learned was the power of storytelling. Dad's can tell the best stories, the tallest tales and the longest yarns and my dad was no different. Whether it was his childhood memories, historical tales of people and places long gone or the science behind the most mundane or magical, he kept us amused on long car trips and camp outs. He's still a great storyteller as he talks about the places he and my mom have recently traveled, people they've met or a battlefield they've visited. Stories capture our attention and have the power to bring us together. An effective leader learns how to use stories to create a shared vision and direction.

The other leadership lessons from my dad were the gifts of high expectation and unconditional support. Entering my freshman year in high school I was selected at try-outs as a junior varsity cheerleader. It was a great year, but one of my friends and classmates was not selected. As try-outs approached for the next year she would come to my house and we'd practice nearly every day. I felt no reluctance in teaching her what I knew. When the day came for try-outs and the evening hours ticked by making it obvious I had not made the squad I was destroyed as only a 15-year-old girl can be. I remember feeling surprised that it was my dad who braved my dark, tear-stained bedroom instead of mom. But he obviously knew exactly what to say because the lesson sticks with me even today. He told me that "the cream always rises to the top". He expected me to hold my head high and try again the next year. He let me know I could be successful in that endeavor and anything else I set out to accomplish. He was right. I did make cheerleader both my junior and senior years. I've stumbled and failed many other times in my life, but its never stopped me from trying again. Because he expected great things I do, too.

If you don't have the gift of your father in your life I hope you'll spend some time this weekend remembering how his impact has shaped you. Or perhaps the fatherly lessons have been imparted by someone you didn't call "dad". Maybe it was a stepfather, grandfather, uncle or brother. Perhaps an amazing boss, a minister or counselor. Honor those lessons no matter where they came from. And if you are a father consider the example and the lessons you provide daily. Happy Father's Day!