10 September 2009

Communicating our Expectations

In my experience one of the most challenging things about being in a leadership position is the clear communication of expectations. I've tripped up over this before and I've seen more relationships derailed from a lack of clearly communicated expecatations than I can count. Over the desk in my office I have on the wall a copy of "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and there is one of the agreements that I think speaks directly to this issue:

"Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

Of course, abiding by that agreement requires us to be clear about what we really want and sometimes that is a lot of work! We have to be willing to spend some time away from the constant noise and chatter that we allow into our lives to be able to get clear about what we want. It's easy to allow those distractions to keep us away from checking in with ourselves, but even 5-10 minutes a day spent in quiet contemplation can make a lot of difference. And don't be afraid to tell the person you are communicating with "you know, I need to get clear about what I am expecting in this situation, so let me consider that and get back with you." Better to wait than to risk the relationship.

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About Me

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Houston, TX, United States
I've led a lot and followed plenty of times, too. All these experiences have given me some interesting perspective into what makes someone a leader worth following. And what constitutes ethical leadership? We usually can smell it when's it not, so let's find the examples in the world of people leading in an ethical and authentic way! My passion is community leadership but I think the lessons of leadership transcend place and specifics. I'd love to hear what you think about leadership!